My line of work allows me to dispense easily with whatever latest umbrage taken by the Twittiots and Loserbook users and various scurrying bots clamoring for an apology.
I have two stock replies to any demand for an apology, either of which should suffice:
“The customer service window, by definition, is for addressing the needs of paying customers. In ten years, I’ve never received a customer complaint. The ticket dispenser is still on ‘0001.’ ”
“The rules of your failed society have no applicability here in my theater. Leave them at the door.”