I simply must apologize to my audience.

There’s not a whole lot of humor these days in what is ostensibly a stand-up comedy show wherein one typically expects to find more humor than stem winding, but it seems I’ve got to administer beating upon beating just to get certain idiot organizations not to disappear my material.

I know that the completely useless government employees in my audience will never catch the bad men. So what they’ll do instead is to obstruct the professional movement of those who do catch the bad men, and to confound those efforts, and to sit in the way like useless sacks of garbage lest anyone come to realize that their budgets may safely be reduced by half.

So for the next little while I will be occupied with short-circuiting this idiot kook law containment field that that village idiot of a federal jurisdiction has got me wrapped up in like some kind of Chinese finger puzzle.

So I appreciate your forbearance. You may stop by the swag table and pick out a complimentary Chris King Bad Man t-shirt. Tell the girl I said you could have one for free.

You a corn-fed fool with a lotta muscle mass, and it’s tahm for Bullhorn to get up in that aaaassssss!”

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.