Death Squads to be Inserted Into American Communities
A Houston Chronicle report stated that Jade Helm soldiers will blend in with the local populations in an effort to test the effectiveness of infiltration techniques. Residents will be encouraged and commanded to report anything they deem suspicious during the Jade Helm drill.
I have taken this information to my sources and they confirmed that the Houston Chronicle Report is referring to the insertion of simulated death squads into selected American communities. This is the reason that Jade Helm is encouraging local citizens to report “suspicious activities”. This is a beta test for this operation. From an operational perspective, the fewer the number of the citizen reports the authorities receive, the more effective the intended stealth of the death squads would be judged to be. As opposed to more “traditional” military units, the Special Forces, associated with Jade Helm, would be the ones to carry out death squad executions of intended dissident target groups. In other words, this is how the Red List executions will be carried out. The more covert that their presence in a community would be, the less likely their intended targets would be spooked and make a run for safety. Fleeing individuals targeted for assassination is the reason why certain communities must be isolated so that intended targets cannot travel to congregate with fellow dissidents or to be able to escape final justice.
Yup. Genius Nation USA will now have death squads like every other banana republic.
It has been my experience that these guys don’t blend in very well. They have goon haircuts and wear wraparound goon sunglasses and then hurriedly head up the steps of the nearest structure which turns out to be a locked church when you beep the horn and wave at them.
It’s pretty sad when a jurisdiction’s little teeny peen causes it to whack comedians. Poor little shit stain. Is it gonna cry? Is it gonna flip over the chess board and storm off because it lost this ten-year game of four-dimensional chess?
Actually I’m not terribly concerned about it. Mister Obama and I have our own gentlemen’s agreement of a Mutually Assured Destruction pact. Blood is thicker than water, so I’ve got way more guys with guns protecting me than he does. He’s just a little commie, like his mommy. No military man respects him. It’s cowboys versus commies around here.
And I find it amusing that the lights at the White House went out shortly after the lights went out at my house a few days ago. Dare I speculate? Who knows; I’ve got friends in high places.
…who specialize in turning out the lights.
I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.