Do you consider healthy, clean eating to be a priority in your life? According to the ‘psychiatric officials’ who want to add healthy eating to the extensive list of mental disorders, you have an eating disorder. ‘Orthorexia nervosa’ to be specific.
We first told you about this back in February of this year, when major news outlets began pushing the term ‘orthorexia nervos’ non-stop in declaring healthy eating a mental disorder. The story, written by Jeffrey Jaxen for Natural Society, received over 57,000 shares on Facebook and several million viewers who could not believe the reality of the piece. Unfortunately for sane eaters who do place a priority on eating right, the story was entirely correct.
And now, we are seeing the emergence of orthorexia nervos in the news once more. This time, we are being told it’s the newest ‘eating disorder’ that we could all be ‘suffering from’. Because if you don’t want to eat things like Monsanto’s cancer-linked chemicals, artificial additives, and high-fructose corn syrup, you must be crazy.
The Daily Mail reports breaks down the latest declaration from ‘psychiatric officials’ who are heavily pushing the orthorexia nervos eating disorder:
“Some clinicians argue orthorexia nervosa should be recognised as a separate eating disorder and have proposed clinical DSM diagnostic criteria. They note distinct pathological behaviours with orthorexia nervosa, including a motivation for feelings of perfection or purity rather than weight loss, as they see with anorexia and bulimia.
I remember fondly when my attorney stated to my face that I had “delusions of grandeur” in my belief that I was America’s Senior Comedian (because he had never heard of me and, obviously, he possessed a metaphysically complete knowledge of all things, thus betraying his own delusions of grandeur) and that I “perseverate,” both of which are words of art of a foreign field of expertise. (I had no interest in his legal opinion, much less his thoughts on medicine.) His psychiatric training apparently having been gotten from an article in an in-flight magazine somewhere, he confidently declaimed to me that I needed “to take advantage of all available mental health services.” His medical opinion thus having been rendered, he proceeded to ignore everything I was telling him that might prove useful to my defense. It spared him the bother of having to do discovery and other weirdo stuff that would have lead to a Matlock-like courtroom victory where he pulls from his breast pocket a piece of paypuh that shows that contrary to his esteemed colleague’s representation of his client as a dangerous criminal, the defendant was actually a Secret Service protectee.*
I don’t have to embellish my life, folks. Truth is stranger than fiction. Everything I’ve told you about my personal life over the past decade is true. It’s memoir gold.
But anyway, the medical profession is being used by bankers (through their control of the medical schools and trade associations and trade publications) to demonize previously virtuous behavior. What was once a virtue is now a vice. Do you persevere? Do you have that ineffable quality of stick-to-it-iveness? Do you spend more than five minutes on a thing before throwing in the towel? It’s only because you labor under a hitherto unheard-of mental disorder: You perseverate. Do you see the slight but medically significant difference? Three little letters put you right in the loony bin where you won’t ruin society by asking questions.
And do you not want battery acid in your food? Do you not want to eat GMO food that irritates your bowels because of the built-in insecticide? Do you not want yoga-mat plasticizer in your Subway submarine sandwich bread? It’s only because you’re kooky. You have a new mental disorder that compels you to seek “perfection” and “purity.” You’re probably just like Howard Hughes, saving your own urine and nail clippings. It’s only because you suffer from orthorexia nervosa. See? It’s your nervous condition that’s the problem here, not the battery acid.
*I use the term “Secret Service protectee” for simplicity of storytelling. To the best of my ability to deduce, I had been placed into a perhaps novel form of legal protection, a hands-off, legal protective custody. This explains why only the Secret Service is permitted to interview me or arrest me, despite their having to roll their eyes at arresting a comedian in the middle of his show. One Secret Service protectee thought he could get away with turning on the waterworks and having another Secret Service protectee arrested without anyone ever finding out about the machination. And once Mister Obama realized how stupid he looked, the Probation Office hustled me off their books as quickly as possible and then the conviction went bye bye into hyperspace, all without my having to bother filing any paperwork with the court.
And that is why I am America’s Senior Comedian. Now buy your ticket.
I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.