Prison » Police Seize 10 Children From ‘Off-Grid’ Homeschool Family

Police seized ten children from an “off grid” homeschool family in Kentucky on Wednesday after receiving an anonymous tip about the family’s traditional lifestyle.

The nightmare story began when sheriff’s officers set up a blockade around Joe and Nicole Naugler’s rural property before entering the premises. Eight of the kids were out with their father but Nicole and two of her oldest children were at home. Nicole attempted to drive away but was subsequently stopped and arrested for resisting (attempting to prevent officers from taking her two boys away).

The sheriff then demanded Joe Naugler turn over the other eight children by 10am the next day or face felony charges, an order with which he complied.

“They are an extremely happy family,” said family friend Pace Ellsworth, who asserts that the Nauglers were targeted because of their “back to basics life” and their decision to homeschool their children.


Huh. They look fine to me. I will admit that one of ’em is wearing suspenders. They’re out of step with proper society, obviously. They’re probably not on Ritalin and they’re probably not twerking and making it nasty. I even bet you that their father teaches them about how rights come from God and not from government. Maybe he even teaches them that nonresident aliens (sovereign citizens) are not liable for the federal income tax. Maybe he teaches them how to read law books.

Why aren’t they jumping around? Why are they smiling? Why are they not drooling like their autistic peers? Why do they seem so damn well adjusted?

And you gotta love the anonymous information. It’s the hallmark of fine jurisdictions everywhere.

They’re Public Enemy Number One.

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.