As you may have guessed, Judge, my antipathy toward your profession cannot be overstated.

What did I say to you five years ago, when I asked that the usher lead you to your seat? I said, “I am the worst thing that’s ever happened to you because you will be unable to unlearn the evidence I present here.”

If you were to come into possession of this evidence in some dark alley, if I were to pass it to you in a manila envelope, you’d be able to glance left and right to verify that no one witnessed your receipt of this evidence. If no one saw it, then it didn’t happen. And the conveyor belt of color of law frauds would continue unimpeded.

But this isn’t some dark alley. I have it on good authority that my show is another one for the history books. See, the system isn’t very bright. It proved to be singularly unwise to place a professional comedian into a Kook Law Containment Field. It proved singularly unwise to declare me to be a terrorist –because I may then turn right around and use that singular status as another one for the history books to lay out my evidence, thereby placing that evidence into the history books.

And further, your presence here in my court, and the presence here of Madam Prosecutor and Leahy and Holder and the Supreme Court justices, becomes another one for the history books. This isn’t some dark alley here. Not anymore.

The system attempted to marginalize me and to impeach my character and my sanity. All the system managed to do, however, was to build my stage for me. The system turned on the stage lights. The system delivered to me on a silver platter all the informational primacy –that is, noteworthiness or fame or notoriety or interestingness or whatever you want to call it– that I required to move these debates out of the dark alley and into the light.

Every last thing I have said and done over the past decade served to achieve this state of informational primacy. I needed my stage.

There are a couple of things on my front burner. One is the IRS and the Justice Department’s color of law frauds. The federal jurisdiction inappropriately pursues those foreign persons who are in no way liable for that indirect tax.

The other is your idiot jurisdiction’s designation of those foreign persons as “domestic terrorists,” all while the FBI can’t take that 7-series compressor for action. That is, the person who knows how to read law books and thereby learns that he is first a state citizen and secondarily a federal citizen; should that person also learn that it is a matter of legal fact that sovereignty resides in the people; should that person elect to stand on his rights and enjoy the lack of legal disabilities associated with his legal status as a state United States citizen, your idiot jurisdiction, in an embarrassingly base, crude, and gauche attempt merely to increase tax revenue, will declare that sovereign, state United States citizen to be a “domestic terrorist,” thereby opening an entire new toolbox of law enforcement implements, such as warrantless wiretapping, warrantless entry, warrantless installation of surveillance equipment, and all manner of inappropriate behavior.

In short, your idiot jurisdiction doesn’t like it when people stand on their rights. It’s that simple. Your idiot jurisdiction doesn’t like losing tax revenue. Meditate upon this: Your idiot jurisdiction seemingly doesn’t understand that 99.79% of Americans are sovereign, state United States citizens. Your idiot jurisdiction seemingly doesn’t understand that it accidentally declared 99.79% of Americans to be domestic terrorists, all while your idiot jurisdiction is in no way desirous of catching the terrorists we’ve already got, the ones who deposited incompatible engine hardware on Murray Street.

Does your idiot jurisdiction often declare to be terrorists those who yawn-inducingly claim a legal status that reduces tax revenue? Does the State of Vermont declare to be terrorists those New Hampshire residents who don’t shop in Vermont?

Your idiot jurisdiction, which in no way is capable even of basic police work, has accidentally declared 99.79% of Americans to be domestic terrorists merely because of those Americans’ legal status as nonresident aliens relative to the federal jurisdiction.

Your idiot jurisdiction wouldn’t know the first thing about law. That much is clear.

And now I’ve got another twenty-million-dollar lawsuit against the Flunky Bureau of Incompetence for their having declared me to be a domestic terrorist just because I’ve declined that inferior class of federal United States citizenship and its attendant legal disabilities. The FBI declared me to be a domestic terrorist because I’ve stood on my rights as a sovereign, state United States citizen.

Your jurisdiction is a real piece of work, isn’t it? It seems not to mind being a global laughingstock. It seems not to mind not knowing the first thing about law.

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.