President Barack Obama Bans Some Military-Style Equipment Provided To Police

WASHINGTON — In an unexpected move, President Barack Obama on Monday will ban the federal government from providing certain military equipment to police departments.

Effective immediately, the government will no longer provide local law enforcement with tracked armored vehicles, grenade launchers and bayonets. Other items like explosives and riot equipment will be transferred to police only if they provide additional certification and assurances that the gear will be used responsibly.

The changes stem from recommendations made to the president in a new report produced by a White House working group. Obama created the task force earlier this year via executive order.

No, it was quite expected. What’s happening here is that the plan to militarize the state and local constabularies, in the expectation of being able to call upon them in the defense of the property abandoned-in-place once owned by the dead federal jurisdiction, has gone disastrously wrong. The bankers who instructed the Pentagon to arm the state and local cops now know that those cops have been successfully decompartmentalized by various persons including me. (I’ll accept my award later. And now you understand my hijinks. Obviously I can’t train you until I have your attention.)

So now these bankers have instructed the Pentagon and Obama to undo what they unwisely did, which was to arm the very constabularies who are now wide awake to the treason in Washington. These bankers now understand that the state and local cops have largely turned away from the dead federal jurisdiction.

It is to these bankers’ horror that they unwisely armed the state and local cops who will be working with gun owners, libertarians, Christians, sovereign citizens, and generally anyone worth a damn to restore lawful government at Washington.

That is the purpose of Obama’s action. He is now frantically working to divest the state and local cops of the military hardware they will now use, in their educated, awake, decompartmentalized state, to repulse the federal military action upon the several states.

These bankers know that their Jade Helm op is completely blown. It’s back to the drawing board.

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.