Bin Laden’s library was basically the browser history of a conspiracy theorist – The Washington Post

But more specifically: Bin Laden’s library was the equivalent of an Internet conspiracy theorist’s browser history. There was a print out of a weird article about a card game that was said to have predicted the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. He had an e-book about voter fraud conspiracies from He had books documenting the fringes of American politics. He had a 1928 book called “The Secret Teaching of All Ages” that details various aspects of forgotten religions and the occult; he had a book unveiling “The Secrets of the Federal Reserve.” And, like a rebellious teenager, he checked out the official government material on MK ULTRA, the CIA’s mind control efforts during the Cold War.

The bookshelf contains a number of letters, too (letters once upon a time served a function similar to e-mail). There’s a paper job application, which includes — and I am not making this up — an emergency contact request: “Who should we contact in case you became a martyr?” Oh, my wife, here’s her cell.

Combing through the list is fascinating in the same way that it’s interesting to go to a garage sale. You can come to a lot of conclusions about a person by looking at what they own, conclusions that may be correct or not. In this case, our information about the owner of the books is backed up by knowing who he was in the rest of his life. The guy seems like an anti-American conspiracy nut — only fitting for a guy who conspired against America. But also he seems kind of sad, not in a way to inspire empathy, but in a way that would inspire pathos.

I studied physics in college. (Well, during one stint at one of the twelve or fifteen colleges at which I have been enrolled over the years in pursuit of that ever-elusive degree which I have now lost interest in. I quit Clarkson University in 1986 when I told my physics professor that I wanted to invent a teleportation device. He threw his head back and laughed right in my face and told me that I had been watching too much Star Trek. Of course, just as I predicted, we are now teleporting subatomic particles. More precisely, we are teleporting the information associated with subatomic particles, information teleported instantaneously across large distances by the principle of quantum entanglement. So anyway, I quit college, refusing to pay good money to be certified by mediocre minds. Did I lose out by not pursuing a career in physics? No; it wasn’t my loss.)

I like my current career better. I lower the mighty and I confound the wise. I’ve got the Supreme Court all wrapped up in knots, for example. In my career as comedian, gadfly, or social and political irritant or whatever it is that I do these days, I like being the guy who knows absolutely nothing about anything but who still somehow confounds the experts. And that’s more fun than physics.

I continue to employ some methods that I used in the physics lab all those years ago. I enjoyed lasers and I would painstakingly set up mirrors and beam splitters and shoot laser beams all around the lab. Because laser light is highly coherent, you can’t see it unless it bounces off something. So I would spritz some water vapor into the air so that I could see the beam.

Your nation has been confused by a criminal cartel who operate by lying to you. Fourteen years later, we still haven’t figured out who put that incompatible engine hardware on Murray Street. And why is that?  It is because the corporate news media (which are owned by the same bankers who own the British, American, Saudi, and Israeli intelligence agencies that cooked up three thousand people on 9-11) pollute everyone’s understanding of events. It’s kooky, you see. It’s kooky to investigate who put that incompatible engine hardware on the street corner because everyone knows that Osama bin Laden did it, just like George Bush and Dick Cheney said.

That criminal cartel is difficult to see without the aid of some water vapor. The Washington Post is in my audience. That they continue prattling on and on endlessly about Osama bin Laden (and how, presumably, he directed that the engines be switched out on Flight 175) tells me that they are impervious to logic or that they’re a conveyor belt of daily talking points promulgated by intelligence agencies.

So the author of the article excerpted above is either an active propaganda agent of that criminal cartel or he’s just dumb. I’ve read his articles before and I think it’s the latter. That is the lesser sin.

This man was instructed by his editors to link together, in a guilt-by-association fashion, Osama bin Laden and those who would inquire into the privately owned banking cartel called the Federal Reserve. 9-11 was commissioned by the principal shareholders of the Federal Reserve. That is why the Washington Post was hired to push the notion that only terriss and kooky people read books about the Federal Reserve.

You need to understand that this person either has no idea what he’s talking about or that his job is to lie to his audience. I’m not sure which is worse, and it doesn’t really matter because the Washington Post isn’t relevant to what I’m doing; newspapers with dwindling audiences are a dime a dozen. My show is not. Just ask the Supreme Court. Do they read the Washington Post? If they do, it’s only after they sit in on my show.

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.