The Curious Case of the Cracker in the Wood Pile

NAACP leader Rachel Dolezal had choice words Friday for those questioning her ethnicity: “I don’t give two s**ts about what you think.”

For nearly a decade, Dolezal, who heads the NAACP chapter in Spokane, Washington, has claimed to be African-American. However, her parents, who appeared on HuffPostLive Friday, have revealed that she is white.

In an interview with CBS affiliate KREM 2 News on Friday, Dolezal maintained she is black.

“Yes, I do consider myself to be black and that’s because … you know, that’s how I identify,” she told the station.

“I actually don’t like the term ‘African American.’ I prefer the term ‘black,’” she said.

Dolezal said she has nothing to say to critics outraged by her racial identification. She also said any concerns people may have about misrepresentation of her race is something she’d rather discuss only with the black community.

“It’s more important for me to clarify that with the black community and my executive board than it is to explain it to a community that I, quite frankly, don’t think really understands the definitions of race and ethnicity,” she said.

Other media accounts tell us that she has been the victim of “eight confirmed hate crimes,” that she has been representing her black half-brother to be her son, that some black dude is her birth father, and that the white man who raised her and who appears in family photos is merely her stepfather and that he would beat the black children in the family.

I am now quite convinced that I accidentally find myself living among a nation of performance artists. Nothing is real with these people. Their entire lives are their installations. It’s the Brian Williams Syndrome: pick a story and stick to it.

“I’m black and I don’t give two shits what you think. You need meds if you don’t believe me. And Flight 175 was at the scene of the crime. Why do you question implausible stories? Do you have mental health services? I bet that you also believe the Sixteenth Amendment never conferred new taxing authority. Why don’t you believe whatever old story you’re told? Are you one of these anarchists who think they have a natural right to travel, the exercise of which cannot be converted into a crime? Why do you hate me? It’s less about objective reality than how I identify. I identify as black, therefore I’m black. I pronounce reality and it becomes so, the facts be damned. We as a nation identify as being the victims of terror. Therefore Flight 175 was at the scene of the crime. See? It’s all settled here in Performance Art Nation, USA.”

The woman is a kook. And what makes her dangerous is that her inability to correctly perceive reality invades other aspects of her life. I guarantee you that she’s completely in love with Barack Obama, the con artist in the White House, whose real father turns out to be some commie porn producer by the name of Frank Marshall Davis. She’s probably anti-gun, she’s probably in favor of abortion (which practice since its legalization has flushed down the toilet some sixty percent of the black community that otherwise would have been born,) and she probably thinks taser collars would be a bright idea. That is, I guarantee you that she’s a Democrat.

If you want a picture of the mental illness of the American “progressive,” then you pick up this woman and turn her over in your hands like the artwork that she is, and you marvel at her deranged belief that she controls reality just by pronouncing it.

And it’s not that I am encumbered within that limiting, grade-school understanding of politics that is the simple left/right, liberal/conservative paradigm. Politics is more complex than to be accurately described by the words “left” or “right.” But while I am not encumbered within that paradigm, I can comment on people who do willingly encumber themselves within it.

If I were to ask a self-identifying “progressive” what he’s progressing toward, he wouldn’t even be able to say. “I don’t know. Equality and stuff. Stick it to the man. I’m against privilege or something.”

But anyway, this woman is the picture of an American progressive. She’s mentally ill. She’s been “passing” as mentally stable just as she’s been passing as black. And this country is full of mentally ill people just like this woman, people who can pass as sane until it’s too late, people with college degrees and large vocabularies, people who seduce you into listening to their cockamamie political ideas. And by the time you realize that these people are nutjobs, the country’s gone.

…just like now!

Go into the light, Carol Ann. Come out of the left/right trap and enter the reality-based community.

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.