I propose to do a daily video piece for transmission on whatever nightly news show.

I call it “Chris’ Daily Diatribe.”

I require a set. A fireplace and an overstuffed leather chair and a glass of brandy. I will sit there each night and propound upon whatever matter for five minutes, performing a piece that I written earlier in the day.

And we excerpt it from the nightly news show and post it on Youtube so that the general public may partake of my wisdom.

“Hi. My name is Chris King or Christopher King or Chris King Pop Icon. I’m not sure yet what name I’m working under for this project. Guess what? I haven’t paid income tax in twenty years and the Justice Department just sits there, dumbfounded. Struck dumb. They suddenly decline to run their mouths during my show. So maybe I know what I’m talking about. But anyhow, welcome to the first episode of ‘Chris’ Daily Diatribe.’ ”

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.