Now don’t forget, Senator.

My audience and I fully expect you to do your job. You are to stand up in the middle of whatever kook court over there (even the secret ones!) and you clear your throat and address whatever hooker lawyers may be there, and you tell them that I am the most supremely fucking pissed off person who ever stalked this earth. I am tired of doing quality work, only to be punished by the weak, the corrupt, and the useless. I will not have my career obstructed by certain dead jurisdictions. I will not have any more decades stolen from me.

So you remove that stinking corpse of a Nigerian Scam of a “jurisdiction” from my path.

Your jurisdiction’s corruption is not my problem.

Your idiot jurisdiction’s gag orders aren’t about national security. They’re about covering up the truth.

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.