I hereby pledge something to you, O audience.

Hereinafter, until the end of time, here in my theater I shall forever refer to the Justice Department as “the town cunt.”

That’s their new name. They earned it.

Now let’s all turn in our seats and laugh our horse-faced laughs at the town cunt. Let’s make those fraudulent little bitches cry! Poor little bully laid low by a high school grad with a library card!

Buncha cunts.

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.