@TheJusticeDept I found a video of you getting your clocks cleaned.

Ain’t nothin’ sweeter than to have someone’s “number.” And I’ve got your number. I know what you’re scared of. You’re scared of going to prison for knowingly prosecuting your color-of-law fraud of a personal income tax. I will not rest until there’s a perp walk of “Justice” Department animals.

See, it wasn’t very bright of your idiot organization to declare a critically acclaimed, ticket-selling, professional comedian to be a terrorist. You idiots essentially requested a venue change, moving this contest of ours from your typical dark alley and on to the surface of the sun. Thanks for the stage, thanks for the complimentary lighting, thanks for the notoriety, thanks for the informational primacy. Thank you for placing me and our contest right into the history books.

I enjoyed converting your bully organization into a cunt. You are now a total laughingstock and no one fears you anymore. Why would someone fear the town bitch?

You fucked with the wrong guy.

It’s the Bitch Department.

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.