Hillary Clinton is a non-viable candidate. Her trajectory is inexorably downward. The organized crime syndicate called the Democratic Party will not wish to yield control of the federal apparatus to the organized crime syndicate called the Republican Party. They need a new candidate immediately. Therefore the Democratic Party leadership will stop the bus, escort Clinton to the pavement, lie her down squarely in front of the bus, smooth her hair and straighten the Star Trek collar on her futuristic pantsuit, give her a kiss on the cheek, whisper in her ear that they wish she hadn’t jeopardized their criminal activities with her arrogance, get back on the bus, put it in gear, and drive right over her with the satisfying finality of a thump!, the bus and its inhabitants jolting skyward to gasps and giggles all ’round at this unexpected turn in the amusement park ride called the Presidential Race.
And then the party on the bus will play on with a new Spotify playlist and they’ll have their graphics design people come up with some new ideas for yard signs and bumper stickers that they can hand out to the Party faithful at stump speeches, the vacuous looks in the eyes and the drooling of the Party faithful betraying no knowledge whatsoever that their identity-politics candidate had been replaced with a reasonable facsimile just like out of a Body Snatchers movie.
And the scam may proceed apace anew.
I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.