The secret of extreme heroes: They don’t overthink – The Washington Post

We grow up being taught to look before we leap and think before we act, especially in dangerous situations. In its booklet on dealing with “active shooters,” the Department of Homeland Security lists confrontation as the “last resort,” after, among other things, taking note of the nearest exits and locking yourself in an office. Police tell us not to confront someone “armed and dangerous.” And our spouses and other loved ones tell us, “don’t be a hero.”

Yet it turns out, according to a recent study of why people take extreme risks to save lives that are at immediate risk, that the ones who do indeed come to the rescue, like the three Americans on that French train, are those who completely disregard all that advice.

America is a nation of pussies. I hope we all have internalized that truth by now.

Remember back in the good ol’ days after 9-11 when Americans nearly universally had those idiotic American flags mounted to their car windows? Everyone was brave, by virtue of a bumper sticker that read “Freedom Isn’t Free” or “The Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.”

America is an idiot nation populated by pure bitches. All you have to do is look crosseyed at an American and he’ll immediately start crying.

And I love all these tough guys with wives and children, making like they’re some sort of paragon of masculinity. I bet you that fully fifty percent of the men in this country would permit you to pull his woman aside and pull her pants down and screw her right in front of him.

I am strong. I am free. I am brave. I’m just following what the bumper sticker says. It’s really not all that noteworthy.

Not a single bitch in my audience has ever had the balls to acknowledge my existence, reply to my inquiries, or buy a ticket to my show. I guess it’s scary.

Do you want to know why I wipe my ass with all federal and state statutes not in accord with Natural Law? It’s because the strong do not countenance the thoughts of the weak. A bitch’s thoughts mean nothing to any person possessing the first modicum of self-respect.

It’s Bitch Nation USA.

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.