Some are hoping that Hillary will go to jail. But the anger, frustration and bitterness that will gnaw on her after wasting decades and a small fortune on two failed efforts to win the White House in which she had every advantage only to lose before even leaving the starting gate will be worse than any prison.
In January 2017, Hillary Clinton will be sitting in front of a television set watching someone else take the oath of office. Nothing the penal system has to offer would be a harsher punishment than that moment.
Daniel Greenfield, a Shillman Journalism Fellow at the David Horowitz Freedom Center, is a New York writer focusing on radical Islam.
“Hi. My name is Hillary Clinton, and I’m doing something nice this summer too. I’m putting on a performance art piece in my Fringe Festival show. I’m playing a woman who has zero chance of becoming president because I am, in the words of poll respondents everywhere, and I quote, ‘a liar,’ ‘untrustworthy,’ ‘deceitful,’ ‘smelly,’ ‘ugly,’ and ‘that stupid bitch.’
“Here in the second act, my donors start leaving me because they don’t want to hitch their wagon to a dead horse. And in the third act, I go right to prison as all my crimes catch up with me.
“I’ve labored long and hard developing the script for my show, which has been years in the making and features a cavalcade of stars. I think you’ll agree that my performance art piece will win awards everywhere for its accurate depiction of a total loser who thinks she’s a queen! I hope to get my picture on the cover of the Orlando Weekly and that Seven Days newspaper in Burlington which I guess decided they didn’t want the exclusive with Chris. Oh well. You snooze you lose. So the first media outlet to defy the gag order gets the exclusive. And that’s a promise.
“Thank you for coming, and please tip the wait staff.”
Incidentally, I will say that my $7000 investment in my 2004 Orlando Fringe Festival show will ultimately pay off quite handsomely. I spent $2000 on renting the venue, miscellaneous registration fees, and promotional materials, and then I spent $5000 over the next six months as I set about learning how to do this stand-up comedy that I promised I would deliver six months hence. I spent that money on cab fare, drinks, meals, cover charges, etc., as I worked the various open mics at various clubs in town.
What with my many lawsuits against United Idiot, I expect to increase manyfold what my master gave me. Sometimes you just have to wait a while for your return on investment.
I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.