Senator, I’d like to argue pro se in whatever kook court over there.

Print this out and pass it along, will you?

“Good morning, trash. I should like to beseech your sewer of a ‘court’ in the matter of Christopher King vs. United Mushmouth.

“It appears that your idiot jurisdiction doesn’t know whether to shit or go blind. Whose fault is that? Whose fault is it that your trash organization runs color-of-law frauds every day? In the words of Chief Justice Asshole of the 82nd Court of United Idiotdiction, ex parte, and I quote, ‘Ours is a pure fucking idiot jurisdiction. No decent person even cares what we say. The next thing you know, the Executive Branch will dream up a new legal instrument purporting to indemnify United States employees in the finger-fucking of prom queens everywhere in the name of national security. Whereso it shall be presumed that plaintiff receives adjudical relief pending determination of our trashdiction’s vomit-inducing existence.’

“So I should request the Sewer’s forbearance as I seek summary judgment in favor of my wanting to pursue my stand-up fucking comedy career unburdened by any dog shit that your idiot court may suffer the Executive Branch to smear all over me.

“Type up your papers, stupid. I think thirty days is reasonable.

“As respectfully as I can manage without losing my lunch just by looking at you,

“Christopher King.”

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.