Watch “The Loch Ness Monster FOUND and Captured ALIVE” on YouTube

In this episode, Mark Dice interviews Americans about the (fatuous) news that the Loch Ness monster has been captured and transferred to Sea World.

If I had invented this brilliant routine, I would ask of the passersby, “NASA’s Glomar Explorer has discovered crystal cities on Venus. Do you think, one, we should we establish a colony there because obviously it would be cheaper now because there’s already cities there and, two, would you support Barack Obama as President of Venus?”

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.