Donald Trump has been taking heat lately for his campaign slogan, “Make America Great Again.” Thursday he was asked if he thought America was great.
“Are we great — yes or no? ” the reporter asked.
“Our country will be great again,” Trump said, “but right now, our country has major problems..
Trump was pushed to expand, “Is America not great right now?” he was asked.
“Excuse me, Mister King? Or is it Mister Icon? Your press package doesn’t make it clear. Are we great, yes or no?”
“Our country will be great again. But right now our country has major problems.”
“Is America not great right now?”
“Very well, then. Come right up here on stage if you want the full answer. …That’s right, you just sit right there on that stool I’ve set up for special guests like you. …Please do not be alarmed. I’m just going to strategically apply my fingers to your face and perform my Vulcan Mind Meld. …There we go… Now: Intelligence agencies flew drones into the Twin Towers and cooked up three thousand of your countrymen, launching fifteen years’ worth of lunacy. You now have no freedom, no money, no economy, no military, and no prospects. Your genius nation imprisons people for crimes they could not have even theoretically committed. You laid waste to the middle east and did not remotely get the right guys. Absent divine intervention, your nation will be completely annihilated. Do your facial grimaces indicate that you’ve had enough? Because I can say more.”
I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.