Prison » FBI Instructs High Schools to Inform On “Anti-government” Students

Here’s the FBI prattling on about sovereign citizens again. It’s their favorite bugaboo. It is the hobgoblin of little minds.

To recap, “sovereign citizen” is a colloquial term for a state United States citizen, most properly known as a Joint Tenant in Sovereignty. The legal characters of the state United States citizen and the federal United States citizen are quite distinct. As proof of that, I, as a Joint Tenant in Sovereignty, can’t seem to get the Justice Department to indict me for my failure to pay a single nickel in income tax over the past twenty years and for not having filed a tax return during that time, both of which the Justice Department publicly represents to be indictable offenses.

Something here doesn’t add up. Either I’m too drop-dead gorgeous to indict (too beautiful to jail, that is,) or they know they’ll lose. And considering how eager they are (don’t forget that they wanted to re-indict me all over again, for a second instance of the same crime, for quoting myself,) why won’t they leap at the chance to send me down the river for decades?

The idiot jurisdiction is big on buzzwords like “tax protester,” “anti-government,” “domestic extremist,” “sovereign citizen,” and the like. But when pressed on the matter, they cannot demonstrate territorial or personal jurisdiction over a Joint Tenant in Sovereignty who resides outside the territorial jurisdiction of the federal jurisdiction –unless, of course, the defendant concedes jurisdiction by unwisely entering a plea in District Court, which court is an Article IV court empowered to hear matters related to United States municipal law, law which applies only within the territorial jurisdiction of the federal jurisdiction, including within the federal legal constructs of state districts. But I walk upon the soil of the several states, not upon the ether of legal constructs.

There is only one proper response upon being hauled into court: “I like your Article IV court. Is this real mahogany? Anyhow, please demonstrate jurisdiction over a Joint Tenant in Sovereignty.”

That’s a pretty considered and sober legal strategy. The Justice Department’s approach, however, goes something like this:

“Chris King is a bad man and a peepee head. He is a Ding Dong Man. He eats babies and is a litterbug.”

It’s an idiot jurisdiction that doesn’t know its own laws or even the limits of its own jurisdiction.

I follow the laws that we have, not the laws that the Justice Department would prefer that we have. And since I know their laws better than they do, they’ll get in an aggrieved, government employee snit and wheel around in their office chairs and type my name into the terror computer. Don’t forget: If I am permitted to get away with following the law, and if people find out about that, then it’s only a matter of time until the idiot jurisdiction can’t pay its bills and has to furlough scads of these idiot employees who serve no useful function. In law enforcement terms, they are in “self-preservation mode.” They’ll say anything to keep the paychecks coming, including patently ridiculous things like how I’m a terrorist or a Ding Dong Man.

You know the Justice Department is completely useless, right?


How are they losing to this guy? – POLITICO

I fully expect the collapsing establishment to roll out ads about how he neglectfully failed to separate his recyclables.

If these retreads had anything on the guy, they would have deployed it by now.

People aren’t stupid. They hate the rigged system, and it only pisses them off more when that hated system carps about Trump’s recyclables or how he didn’t shine his shoes that day.

Everyone hates the corrupt system. So when people see the system making a ruckus, those people will naturally identify with the target of that ruckus. That is why Trump draws disaffected voters from all corners. That is why Trump wins, and why that delusional little witch, Hillary Clinton, has zero point zero chance of becoming president.

Do the “political pros” get it now?

Bill Clinton neglect left NSA ‘brain dead’ as al Qaeda plotted 9/11, Michael Hayden says – Washington Times

Uh huh. Cranior explains how 9-11 happened on his watch only because their clunky, fuddy duddy ol’ computer systems were on the fritz during al Qaeda’s “final planning stages” of 9-11.

Of course, none of that could even theoretically be true as Osama bin Laden and his Merry Band of Malcontents could not have even theoretically installed incompatible engine hardware on Flight 175 without the pilot noticing.

That compressor is pure gold.

Prison » Sanders Steps In It, Declares White People ‘Don’t Know What It’s Like To Be Poor’

Really, Bern?

I love how the Democratic Party is all about the politics of envy.

But on the matter that white people can’t be poor, tell that to the backwoods Vermont guy who manages to feed his family without the benefit of food stamps because his father didn’t raise a welfare recipient, and who heats his trailer with a wood stove he welded together himself, fed with wood he found on the side of the road that he cuts with his chainsaw and splits with an axe, his evening electrical needs met by an inverter hooked up to the battery of a running but broken-down car parked out behind the house, a car he got for free somewhere because the transmission only works in reverse.

And you know what? Everyone in the family is happy. No one complains. They have everything they need. No one covets anyone else’s property. The children run and play in the woods and skinny dip in the pond. There’s always people over, drinking beer and cooking out and playing Foghat on a car radio with bad speakers.

The Democrats would love to plant the seeds of covetousness in everyone’s mind and then ride to the rescue. That’s how they operate. It’s the politics of envy. It is the politics of dependence, which is precisely how Democrats like everyone to be: helpless and dependent.

Excellent job with the campaign, but no thanks, Bern.

Rank and File Republicans Tell Party Elites: We’re Sticking With Donald Trump – The New York Times

It is now apparent to all that there had been a hidden power structure in this country, one that has now accidentally uncloaked itself in its clumsy panic to derail Donald Trump.

That establishment will not permit anywhere near the presidency one who is not a member of their corrupt club of pure scum.

It is not Donald Trump who is destroying the Republican party. It is the political establishment who will not permit the voters to have their chosen candidate. Does anyone really think that the voters want stiffs like Cruz or Rubio? Just look at the polls.

The corrupt political establishment in this country will obstruct the proper functioning of that federal political system to the degree that not only leads to the destruction of the Republican party, but also leads inexorably to the armed termination of the federal jurisdiction.

This is not playtime, folks. If the corrupt political establishment do not wish to kill the golden goose, I suggest they permit the people to participate in an ostensibly free and unrigged political system.

Because if that ostensibly free and unrigged political system turns out to be distinctly unfree and quite rigged, then the people have every moral right to terminate the existing federal jurisdiction and create the free and unrigged political system that the pamphlets tell them is their birthright in the land of the free and the home of the brave.

That is called a “marketing breakdown,” a condition where the true reality of a thing does not match that thing’s marketing blurb in the pamphlet. I, for example, am assured by the marketing blurb in the pamphlet that I, as an American, am free, brave, and Vermont Strong.

Well, if I’m so free, brave, and strong, then that means that I get to exercise my natural right to travel, right?

Thought so. See? When you identify and exploit a marketing breakdown, you possess every moral authority simply to seize whatever the system assures you that you already possess. Not a single person in my theater has the moral authority to get in a snit or cry merely because I choose to live up to the marketing blurb that I am free, brave, and strong. If I’m so free, brave, and strong, then y’all won’t mind if I exercise my right to travel, will you? This is what freedom looks like. Get a good look. I am free, brave, and strong, just like the pamphlet says. I trust that you won’t mind if I make the curtains match the carpets around here for once.

Similarly, there now exists a gigantic marketing breakdown with the political system in this country. The pamphlet assures us that we have the freest, most robust, unrigged political system in the world. That is now manifestly not true. The Democratic establishment have rigged their contest by awarding their superdelegates to that establishment witch, Hillary Clinton. If it were a popular contest, Hillary Clinton wouldn’t stand a chance against Bernie Sanders.

And on the Republican side, that party’s establishment are pulling every trick in the book to ensure that the people’s clear choice, Donald Trump, doesn’t get anywhere near the nomination.

That doesn’t look very free, robust, and unrigged.

So what the geniuses in the corrupt political power structure have done is they’ve accidentally created their own marketing breakdown. They have delivered on a silver platter all the moral authority the people need to shut that idiot jurisdiction down by force if necessary and create a new political structure that matches the blurb in the pamphlet: the freest, bravest, most robust and unrigged political system in the world.

Will the geniuses in the corrupt political system see that they’re killing the golden goose? Of course not.

I truly do question whether that shit heap of a jurisdiction will exist in a year except in the form of various deadenders flashing badges and banging gavels as if any decent person would care. Self-aggrandize much?

That’s how jurisdictions often die: just kind of quietly, its deadenders flashing badges and banging gavels, slowly realizing that no one pays any attention.

…And then they just go home.

The jurisdiction is dead.



This is extra credit for the lawyers in my audience:

20 points: What is morally and legally defensible behavior in response to having a gun pulled on you by someone not representing any known jurisdiction?

Word to the wise: You will want to caution that scumbag political establishment that they are not going to want to put the thought into the general public’s head that the federal jurisdiction no longer exists.

Prison » Gingrich: Establishment Scared of Trump Because He “Didn’t Belong to the Secret Society”

The system hates Trump’s ever-lovin’ guts because there’s no dirt on him. They can’t control him. He’s never been initiated into these weirdo Luciferian secret societies where initiates have to eat human shit or get fucked in the ass by their hooded coven leader while all the other weirdos in attendance watch and jack off into a chalice and then the initiate drinks their cum.

You’re dealing with total freaks in the establishment. Far too many people in my audience have been subjected to precisely those sorts of initiation rites.

An email sent to United States on December 12, 2015.

My Dearest Senator Leahy,

I do so hope this note finds you well.

Hoo boy! We’ve had a fun decade together, haven’t we? I remember fondly our association’s attendant twists and turns, and gasps and belly laughs and innumerable rubbings of a certain someone’s bald head.

I should like to thank you profusely for your stalwart support of the performing arts over the past ten years.

Say, remember when I demanded in 2009 a complete accounting of any and all legal statuses that your esteemed jurisdiction may have accorded me during my execution of my professional duties as critically acclaimed stand-up comedian and performance artist? Well, I know that things move slowly over there. It probably hasn’t worked its way to the top of your to-do list. But no matter, Senator. Providentially, I figured it out by myself  in my capacity as artisanal day laborer.

It seems that the legal status that was on the tip of everyone’s tongue the whole time is called a Joint Tenant in Sovereignty. I’ve been standing on that legal status without a full understanding of it for the past twenty years. Here is a primer on the matter:

The unfortunate reality here is that your jurisdiction lacks the Article III courts to try a Sovereign in Joint Tenancy for any perceived offense. If I were an auto mechanic, I’d clean my hands with that goopy orange stuff and explain it thusly: “Yeah, that’s your problem right there: At some point along the way, someone thought it was a bright idea to remove the transmission. That’s why your car doesn’t move.”

I like your jurisdiction. I think it’s cute the way it moves its mouth while lacking the dicting of jurisness.

Well, at least I now understand why no one will speak to me or buy their ticket. It’s illegal! It’s apparently illegal now to be a Joint Tenant in Sovereignty. And I can only surmise that your genius jurisdiction papered over that little structural oversight –what with lacking Article III courts and all– by declaring me to be a terrorist. But that’s just so silly, Senator! How could a professional, critically acclaimed comedian possibly have placed that incompatible engine hardware on Murray Street?

At least I have a snappy rejoinder for any who may call me a loser for being a fifty-year-old man with ten dollars to his name: “I’m not a loser. It’s actually illegal for me to succeed at anything. I can devote thirteen years of my life and spend every last nickel I had in the assembling of a comedy career, all to no avail. It’s actually illegal for prospective show business partners to hire me or for audience members to buy their tickets. It’s called ‘providing material support to a terriss.’ And now I know why people treat me like I stink of ass. I’m not a loser, I promise!”

So I just wanted your genius jurisdiction to know that I figured it out finally. It only took me ten years to do this, what with painstakingly smoking out my own audience.

So since I’ve long given up on having my lucrative comedy career (thanks to the chicanery of certain jurisdictions that lack transmissions) I need some money to provide for my retirement and to keep myself in the lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed. Can I have my three hundred million dollars now? Certainly your jurisdiction’s various documented outrages warrant significant damages.

And I guess it’s perfectly legal for me to walk down the street with a gun in my pants, in direct violation of the Gun Control Act of 1968, considering, of course, that such statute is United States municipal law. If I am incorrect in my assessment, I certainly wouldn’t want to run afoul of your AUGUST BODY OF LAW called the United States Code, which any decent person would vomit onto and then defecate onto, and then dig a hole and bury it. So in the interest of jurisdictional comity, I would certainly entertain your jurisdiction’s legal advisory that walking down the street with a gun in my pants, which I’ve managed to do for decades without incident, is illegal. (Bear in mind that your jurisdiction lacks the proper courts to try me or any other Sovereign in Joint Tenancy.)

Well, it’s off to work, Senator. I have to rake some leaves.

Please reply only by email. I do not check my Postal Service mail, except by special arrangement, as there is only ever overdue bills in my mailbox. Not a single flower to be found.

Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.


Christopher King, Sovereign in Joint Tenancy; Principal, United Sovereigns of America

This show is now concluded.

Because of the mechanics of how the WordPress client interacts with Twitter, and because of the complexity of running various WordPress sites and Twitter accounts, I am suspending this comedic enterprise. I will focus my efforts on my gubernatorial campaign.

Until further notice, @USS_Armageddon will be silent.

If you wish to follow my political writings and my campaign for Vermont governor, please check in at @ChrisKing2016.

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.

Freedom and Bravery platform.

What is the “Freedom and Bravery Platform”?

This country has been taken for a ride for the past fifteen years: endless wars to nowhere, torture chambers, drone strikes –and we didn’t even get the right guys. What did we get? A surveillance state that would make East Germany proud. A bankrupt public treasury. A squandered national reputation.

Think globally, act locally. So I am going to make the world a better place by starting right here at home. That is why I am running for governor of Vermont in 2016.

I call it the Freedom and Bravery platform because the slick marketers in Washington have assured me for the past fifteen years of how free and brave and strong I am, and why I should assent to every last outrage emanating from Washington. Fine, then; I’m free and I’m brave, just like the bumper stickers say. So this is what freedom looks like. Get a good look.

I propose to make Vermont a tax haven, her citizens free of the misapplied federal income tax. I have not paid federal income tax in twenty years, nor have I filed a tax return during that time, and the Justice Department decline to indict me. I cracked the Internal Revenue Code: Whereas the Sixteenth Amendment conferred no new taxing authority and placed the federal personal income tax into the class of indirect taxes to which it inherently belongs, the federal jurisdiction has no ability to apply the income tax to non-District of Columbia citizens who derive no income from within the federal territorial jurisdiction; that is, citizens of the several states who earn their living outside D.C. simply are not contemplated by the federal income tax. I must be right because, again, the Justice Department refuse to indict me for any crime. The proof is in the pudding. Hate the IRS? Then I’m your man.

As governor, I will personally escort the United States Government right back to its rightful role as junior partner in this federalist system of government of ours.

Low taxes, maximum freedom. That’s my philosophy.

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.

It’s official, then. I’m running for governor.

My Twitter account for my political activities is @ChrisKing2016.

I’m running on the Freedom and Bravery platform. That means that the bumper stickers have reassured me for fourteen years of my freedom, my bravery, and my strength. Fine, then; I’ll make the curtains match the carpets. This is what freedom looks like. Get a good look.

Please be advised that ‘Chris King Pop Icon’ and ‘Christopher King’ are stage names and that any utterances issued under those names are considered part of a professional undertaking as stand-up comedian and performance artist. I do not go by Christopher. I have always been known as Chris.

You can’t really take the humor out of the comedian. So like the competent professional at the office who does his job and still finds time to be a cut-up, I will probably let slip some humor during my campaign. It is what it is.

I am America’s Senior Comedian. Thank you for your kind attention in this matter.